I’m not kidding. I got an e-mail from a young lady named Nadine in New York, who found my website while she was looking for solutions for a bit of trouble she had gotten herself into. Nadine sent me money for a spate of different things through PayPal without consulting me, so I figured there had to be something special going on. When I asked, Nadine told me she found this E-Bay store called "Miss Holly's Witchcraft Parlor" selling something called a "witch’s spirit familiar" for $59.  This on-line store also offers "fetch spirits" too, in the same packaging.  She actually bought a ghost on E-Bay.

Basically "Miss Holly" finds and attaches a ghost to a crystal, and puts the crystal in a house-shaped wooden box and mails that off, with the instruction that you are supposed to place this in a quiet place in your home, make an offering of some sort to the spirit, and then give the spirit a name and tell it what you expect out of it.

Nadine had never taken any courses or done any studies in spiritualism, psychic development or Wicca. She really had no idea what she was letting herself in for when she bought one of these "spirit familiars", and brought it into her house and followed the instructions only to wind up with some of the most virulent poltergeist activity that has ever been described to me. Stuff disappearing and reappearing in odd places, electronics malfunctioning, spirit attacks while she slept... you name it. The spook made her miserable. I’d classify it as criminal mischief.

The thing about haunting activity is that most people stay in denial for a while, then by the time they realize that they have a ghost problem, they are in a panic to get something done about it.

When Nadine e-mailed to complain to the dealer, she got the following response:
"Dearest Nadine,
I understand that you no longer wish to have your spirit familiar. To release it you should if you still have the dwelling place the crystal vessel inside along with your offering take them all to some area off your property and bury it. The earth has natural healing abilities as well as power to ground power and energy. After it is buried say: spirit familiar I release you of your service to me. Go back to where you came. Cease your activity with me and return in peace to God. Now go back home and spin around three times before you enter your house. Now, take a bit of salt and sprinkle it in every room of the house but especially your bedroom and the cabinet where you kept it. While you are purifying and cleansing your house say these words I cast out any spirits who are in my house in the name of God! Leave this house. Repeat. As a last measure to be sure the house is completely free of spirits make loud noise in every room such as banging on pots which is known to scare and drive out spirits."

Nadine’s comment to me: "Suzanne, that sounds like a whole bowl of crap. I had told my boyfriend about what is going on and he said the same thing you said: what in the world made me purchase such a thing? My boyfriend also said if that woman invoked that evil spirit and sent it to your house, what makes you think she would tell you how to get rid of it, and Suzanne, you know what, my boyfriend is right." I guess wisdom comes at a higher price for some.

In short, this E-Bay seller sets some newbies up for a nice little spiritual trap. Nadine admitted she was looking for the fast track approach without the requisite self-work or studies, and it bit her on the butt. Nadine wants to shut that E-Bay store down, though somehow I don’t think E-Bay will listen to her. The nature of this offense is that anyone listening to the case will automatically think that Nadine is a nut. I don’t think that ghosts can be proven in a court of law... if they could, there would be a whole lot of spiritualist/channelers taking the witness stand in murder cases. Universal Law will have to take care of "Miss Holly".

Bless her heart... I e-mailed her the Johrei "White Light" calligraphy and instructed her in its use and placement, and coached her on some other things to do, and all of that seems to have helped. I whittled down her order to the essentials and refunded the excess back through PayPal. When I packaged up her order for a Defunker, I added an "Absolute Truth" ball for good measure. She was very anxious to receive her goodies and was very grateful when they got there. She thanked me and I haven’t heard anything back from her.